I now think that my friend Andy is one of the smartest people in the world...no in the universe...no in the galaxy. He and I worked together at a little bookstore-slash-cafe. and for a while I never really talked to the book store people much (them being on the other side of the tracks and all). But boy am I glad that we've crossed the center line 'cause I never would've learned the "torso theory" by Andy Kelly.
Prior to Andy's return to school to gain his masters in library science (he he, geek), we discussed his career goals. And what you ask is the best sounding career goal? Andy's answer is simple...you gotta be "the torso". As he put's it: "you've got to position yourself in the torso: shit gets pretty bad, you lose a leg, or a hand; shit gets apocalyptic heads roll, but you can't do anything without your torso."
Effing brilliant Andy, effing brilliant. Now pondering how to become the torso in my new life.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Monday, June 7, 2010
Are You There God? Nope, It's Me Anthony Bourdain
Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit. Anthony friggin Bourdain is on the cover of the Improper Bostonian that came out today. This is a sign from the heavens. I must find him and do one of the following:
1. A la Family Guy I shall strategically lore him with a trail of irresistibly tempting tasty tidbits into a cardboard box held up by a stick and a string. Then I shall trap him and ship him off to somewhere that nobody will ever suspect he'd be (like rural Idaho or something). Following this delicate and intricate first step I shall just take over his identity and continue taping No Reservations without the least bit of suspicion. Bwaaahhh ha ha ha ha. Bwaaaaahhhh ha ha ha ha.
OR
2. I may just read the article in the magazine and see if he's in town. Then I might possibly attend whatever appearance he's doing.
Either option is easily attainable and logical.
On another note, in the past three days I've started to review every relief
agency listed on Idealist. I've managed to find quite a few interesting organizations and send cold emails to a few. So far the response is fairly nice. Next step...actually getting a voice on the phone.
Also, since starting this blog people who thought my original email was spam now realize it was a serious endeavor. Truthfully, I am flattered and amazed at the thoughtful and comprehensive responses.
Oh, and Auntie Babs just gave me a tarot reading but you'll have to wait for the summary. I told her she doesn't get another mention until she learns how to text me a pic. of the cards laid out on her table.
Over and out.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
So, It's Time For A Change
It seems that every few years or so I like to change careers and the time is approaching once again (gypsy blood as Auntie Barbara calls it). Let's see, I've been a retail manager, camp counselor, video store clerk, waitress, social worker, lawyer and mediator. So, what's next? Well, I really don't know but I do know this...it's time to find out and I'm oddly giddily (prob. not a word) excited about figuring things out.
As a side note: for those of you with a hearty respect for the English language and the whole grammar thing please be advised that reading this blog will probably make you vomit, but honestly, I really don't care to edit the damn thing.
Recently I read the book The 4 Hour Workweek. Okay well I didn't really read the whole thing and I don't really plan to follow through with the majority of the book's advice but it was a good skim of a read. Mr. Tim seems like a damn funny guy and by the pic. on the sleeve, he's not all that hard on the eyes either. Truthfully, he also seems like he's probably a pretty big douche-bag in real life and fairly full of himself. This means that I would probably be insanely attracted to him, we'd have a hot and heavy porn-like two week shagfest and then bore of each other. You know what I loved about his story though? At some point he just stopped being a chicken shit and started DOING. People are always afraid to change things up. That whole fear of the unknown blah blah blah. I take comfort in the fact that someone else who does things their own way is actually successful.
Here is what I did take from the book: he suggests that you send an email to friends and contacts telling them you're looking for a career change and get their input. So, I sent the following email to about 100 people:
Hi all,
So, I am trying a little experiment here and value your opinions, suggestions and maybe most importantly...leads. I am thinking of making a career move and would love to hear about any opportunities that might spring to mind. Really, I MEAN ANYTHING, no matter how crazy or out of left field it might seem, I'd still love to hear some suggestions. I'm ready for the next adventure and hope it involves travel (to pretty much anywhere).
Can't wait to hear back!
Jen
You know what? It at least started a dialog and helped me to verbalize some of my desires. I want to travel and I mean TRAVEL with a capital T. Ideally, I'd either like to do humanitarian work or take over the Anthony Bourdain show on the travel channel. Truthfully, I'd also like to star as Tina Fey's crazy sister on 30 Rock (I recently described myself to someone as "Tina Fey with boobs"). At the same time, I'd like to keep home base here in Boston and have a job where I can travel for a few weeks to a few months at a time. I am also considering marrying a rich Jewish doctor per grandma Chonnie's orders.
Or, I could take any one of these suggestions from what I like to call "team Jen B's new adventure":
Carolyn: "So my suggestion is that you move to a European boarding school where you'll meet tons of other young people who like to travel." (there's a story behind this sugegstion, but it sounds funnier this way).
Brian: "I think you could have a prominent career as a reality TV star. Just change your name to Norma Gay, and kick Kathy Griffin out of the way, and you're all set :)"
Mount: "Or, you could get your own mediation show, like street court where the guy goes to different neighborhoods and mediates disputes. Or you could open a shop like Legal Grind, or go work with them. You could be a professional firer like Up in the Air. Also travel... I'm sure the circus needs a lawyer. As do celebrities. And politicians. And clergy. Or you could get into the legal department for high risk TV shows like The Biggest Loser or Jersey Shore. Or standup comedian. Or real estate."
Colleen & Liz: "Move here to Ohio." (Listen ladies I said travel not retire).
Lee: "WHO IS THIS?!?! just kidding. how about pole dancing? dog walking? both provide valuable services to the community, and keep you fit! seriously -- sorry, i got nothin..."
Josh: "How about working with me at COMIC CON?? New city, travel, single dudes… bwah haha" (Done and done. SHAMELESS PLUG: San Diego, booth 433, Royal Flush Magazine).
Mina: "Yentas? "A jew and a muslim, solving the mideast crisis one glass of wine at a time" (I'll have to explain this in another post).
Mom: "And I still think standup comedy is a good idea."
Deb: "Wait, I'm confused- didn't you just start your own business??"
Ally: "Would you be willing to start charging for being a ho?"
I did get some serious responses as well and everyone I know is kind of exited to talk about this little experiment. At least it's fun right?
As a side note: for those of you with a hearty respect for the English language and the whole grammar thing please be advised that reading this blog will probably make you vomit, but honestly, I really don't care to edit the damn thing.
Recently I read the book The 4 Hour Workweek. Okay well I didn't really read the whole thing and I don't really plan to follow through with the majority of the book's advice but it was a good skim of a read. Mr. Tim seems like a damn funny guy and by the pic. on the sleeve, he's not all that hard on the eyes either. Truthfully, he also seems like he's probably a pretty big douche-bag in real life and fairly full of himself. This means that I would probably be insanely attracted to him, we'd have a hot and heavy porn-like two week shagfest and then bore of each other. You know what I loved about his story though? At some point he just stopped being a chicken shit and started DOING. People are always afraid to change things up. That whole fear of the unknown blah blah blah. I take comfort in the fact that someone else who does things their own way is actually successful.
Here is what I did take from the book: he suggests that you send an email to friends and contacts telling them you're looking for a career change and get their input. So, I sent the following email to about 100 people:
Hi all,
So, I am trying a little experiment here and value your opinions, suggestions and maybe most importantly...leads. I am thinking of making a career move and would love to hear about any opportunities that might spring to mind. Really, I MEAN ANYTHING, no matter how crazy or out of left field it might seem, I'd still love to hear some suggestions. I'm ready for the next adventure and hope it involves travel (to pretty much anywhere).
Can't wait to hear back!
Jen
You know what? It at least started a dialog and helped me to verbalize some of my desires. I want to travel and I mean TRAVEL with a capital T. Ideally, I'd either like to do humanitarian work or take over the Anthony Bourdain show on the travel channel. Truthfully, I'd also like to star as Tina Fey's crazy sister on 30 Rock (I recently described myself to someone as "Tina Fey with boobs"). At the same time, I'd like to keep home base here in Boston and have a job where I can travel for a few weeks to a few months at a time. I am also considering marrying a rich Jewish doctor per grandma Chonnie's orders.
Or, I could take any one of these suggestions from what I like to call "team Jen B's new adventure":
Carolyn: "So my suggestion is that you move to a European boarding school where you'll meet tons of other young people who like to travel." (there's a story behind this sugegstion, but it sounds funnier this way).
Brian: "I think you could have a prominent career as a reality TV star. Just change your name to Norma Gay, and kick Kathy Griffin out of the way, and you're all set :)"
Mount: "Or, you could get your own mediation show, like street court where the guy goes to different neighborhoods and mediates disputes. Or you could open a shop like Legal Grind, or go work with them. You could be a professional firer like Up in the Air. Also travel... I'm sure the circus needs a lawyer. As do celebrities. And politicians. And clergy. Or you could get into the legal department for high risk TV shows like The Biggest Loser or Jersey Shore. Or standup comedian. Or real estate."
Colleen & Liz: "Move here to Ohio." (Listen ladies I said travel not retire).
Lee: "WHO IS THIS?!?! just kidding. how about pole dancing? dog walking? both provide valuable services to the community, and keep you fit! seriously -- sorry, i got nothin..."
Josh: "How about working with me at COMIC CON?? New city, travel, single dudes… bwah haha" (Done and done. SHAMELESS PLUG: San Diego, booth 433, Royal Flush Magazine).
Mina: "Yentas? "A jew and a muslim, solving the mideast crisis one glass of wine at a time" (I'll have to explain this in another post).
Mom: "And I still think standup comedy is a good idea."
Deb: "Wait, I'm confused- didn't you just start your own business??"
Ally: "Would you be willing to start charging for being a ho?"
I did get some serious responses as well and everyone I know is kind of exited to talk about this little experiment. At least it's fun right?
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