Saturday, June 5, 2010

So, It's Time For A Change

It seems that every few years or so I like to change careers and the time is approaching once again (gypsy blood as Auntie Barbara calls it). Let's see, I've been a retail manager, camp counselor, video store clerk, waitress, social worker, lawyer and mediator. So, what's next? Well, I really don't know but I do know's time to find out and I'm oddly giddily (prob. not a word) excited about figuring things out.

As a side note: for those of you with a hearty respect for the English language and the whole grammar thing please be advised that reading this blog will probably make you vomit, but honestly, I really don't care to edit the damn thing.

Recently I read the book The 4 Hour Workweek. Okay well I didn't really read the whole thing and I don't really plan to follow through with the majority of the book's advice but it was a good skim of a read. Mr. Tim seems like a damn funny guy and by the pic. on the sleeve, he's not all that hard on the eyes either. Truthfully, he also seems like he's probably a pretty big douche-bag in real life and fairly full of himself. This means that I would probably be insanely attracted to him, we'd have a hot and heavy porn-like two week shagfest and then bore of each other. You know what I loved about his story though? At some point he just stopped being a chicken shit and started DOING. People are always afraid to change things up. That whole fear of the unknown blah blah blah. I take comfort in the fact that someone else who does things their own way is actually successful.

Here is what I did take from the book: he suggests that you send an email to friends and contacts telling them you're looking for a career change and get their input. So, I sent the following email to about 100 people:

Hi all,

So, I am trying a little experiment here and value your opinions, suggestions and maybe most importantly...leads. I am thinking of making a career move and would love to hear about any opportunities that might spring to mind. Really, I MEAN ANYTHING, no matter how crazy or out of left field it might seem, I'd still love to hear some suggestions. I'm ready for the next adventure and hope it involves travel (to pretty much anywhere).

Can't wait to hear back!

You know what? It at least started a dialog and helped me to verbalize some of my desires. I want to travel and I mean TRAVEL with a capital T. Ideally, I'd either like to do humanitarian work or take over the Anthony Bourdain show on the travel channel. Truthfully, I'd also like to star as Tina Fey's crazy sister on 30 Rock (I recently described myself to someone as "Tina Fey with boobs"). At the same time, I'd like to keep home base here in Boston and have a job where I can travel for a few weeks to a few months at a time. I am also considering marrying a rich Jewish doctor per grandma Chonnie's orders.

Or, I could take any one of these suggestions from what I like to call "team Jen B's new adventure":

Carolyn: "So my suggestion is that you move to a European boarding school where you'll meet tons of other young people who like to travel." (there's a story behind this sugegstion, but it sounds funnier this way).

Brian: "I think you could have a prominent career as a reality TV star. Just change your name to Norma Gay, and kick Kathy Griffin out of the way, and you're all set :)"

Mount: "Or, you could get your own mediation show, like street court where the guy goes to different neighborhoods and mediates disputes. Or you could open a shop like Legal Grind, or go work with them. You could be a professional firer like Up in the Air. Also travel... I'm sure the circus needs a lawyer. As do celebrities. And politicians. And clergy. Or you could get into the legal department for high risk TV shows like The Biggest Loser or Jersey Shore. Or standup comedian. Or real estate."

Colleen & Liz: "Move here to Ohio." (Listen ladies I said travel not retire).

Lee: "WHO IS THIS?!?! just kidding. how about pole dancing? dog walking? both provide valuable services to the community, and keep you fit! seriously -- sorry, i got nothin..."

Josh: "How about working with me at COMIC CON?? New city, travel, single dudes… bwah haha" (Done and done. SHAMELESS PLUG: San Diego, booth 433, Royal Flush Magazine).

Mina: "Yentas? "A jew and a muslim, solving the mideast crisis one glass of wine at a time" (I'll have to explain this in another post).

Mom: "And I still think standup comedy is a good idea."

Deb: "Wait, I'm confused- didn't you just start your own business??"

Ally: "Would you be willing to start charging for being a ho?"

I did get some serious responses as well and everyone I know is kind of exited to talk about this little experiment. At least it's fun right?


  1. I think you're perfect the way you are. However that won't pay the bills; I'm consult some higher sources, ;-) and I'll get back to.

    Anti Barbar

  2. Hey Jen,
    Very funny! No shame in trying different things until you find one that sticks! And if nothing sticks, you're at least having fun trying.

  3. It's fun, right.
    Blogging for a living is fun but, alas, doesn't pay the bills.
    What does?
    You and Mom should become professional shopping consultants. Hey there are worse things!

  4. Listen Babs...get those cards out and give me a reading! My next posting is going to have to be a summary of what the tarot cards think the universe has in store for me.

    While Babs does that me, Cindy, mommy and squirrelmama are going on a shopping spree.

  5. Jen- I love your blog!! Hilarious!